Tonight I was watching Black in America 2 on CNN with my best friend. Despite the fact that I myself am African American and happen to live in America, and have for 21 years, find the series really interesting.

Being the Twitter addict I am, I had my TweetDeck application running and began an interesting discussion with my beloved sister and friend. She had a problem with the statement the young man that attended the predominately white university in Pennsylvania (I forget his name). He explained to Soledad, the reporter for the series, that when he wears fitted baseball caps he doesn’t wear them completely on, and tight to his head. He wears it back off of his face and cocked to one side. On campus, one of his peers asked him if he was a “thug” because of his style. His response was, “What? I look like Carlton Banks!!!”

I found this statement a bit comical, but more so accurate. He did slightly resemble Carlton, as he wore a sweater vest over a oxford button up, with the sleeves rolled up. Furthermore, his mother is a high powered attorney, and his father also holds an affluent position; Much like the parents of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’s own Carlton Banks.

I gathered from the statement that if he wanted he would rephrase his response to his peer to sound something like this, “I grew up in an environment much like yours. I was accepted into this institution with the same money and connections you have.”

My friend and I ended up having a discussion on sterotypes. She didn’t think it was necessary for the young man to compare himself to Carlton Banks, and I didn’t think it was fair for him to be percieved as a “thug” because his fashion and more importantly ethnicity. My freind said that being a thug doesn’t make you stupid. I agree with that. However, I know that that term is not a compliment, and wasn’t meant as such.

Giving all this background to finally get to the point:

The young man wanted to be seen simply for who he is.

This is something I am coming to learn how to do. I want to be comfortable in who I am, so that I may be seen for who I am.

I’ve always been the type of person that wanted to be “in” with every crowd.

I wanted to hang out with the “nerds” because they were really smart and I wanted this academic success to maybe rub off on me. Not to mention the study sessions on lessons I didn’t quite grasp the first time. I loved learning new things, and getting a better grasp on those things I already understood.

I wanted to be cool with the “artsy” crowd because they were unique. They march to the beat of their own drum. They don’t care for authority or conventionality. They just want to do them. This shows a level of confidence that I was envious of. I loved learning to look at the same thing as the rest of the world, but seeing something different.

And of course, I wanted to hang out with the “popular” people. The girls were always the prettiest, the guys were always the hottest, and they were the best dressed. Who wouldn’t want to get invited to all the parties, get the latest in celebrity (and real-life) gossip, and always be up-to-date on what’s “in.” I loved that feeling of exclusion and elitism- having something not just anyone can get.

But later I came to realize that it was unfulfilling to have to be three different people at once. It’s actually impossible and frustrating after a while. They are three different cliques for a reason- they don’t live the same way. The “nerds” are considered lame, even though they tend to be the most successful of the group. We couldn’t travel without engineers, we couldn’t be healed without medicine, and I wouldn’t be able to post this blog without technology. The artists are sometimes to social outcasts, and considered “weird” before “weird” became cool. Yet they provide entertainment and intellectual stimulation for us all, which is a staple of civilization. Where would we be without music, dance, TV/movies, photography, and other mediums of art? And the “popular” people create trends, and give us “regular” people something to aspire to. (Doesn’t sound very important in comparison to the other groups now that I think about it, but they tend to get the most focus. Hmmm…)

My friends from DC are probably thinking: Ok Lauren, you’re rapping, get to the point please.

Main Point: Everyone is important to society and should be viewed as such. Regardless of differences in interests, social status, or race/ethnicity, each individual should be judged by what they have to offer rather than stereotypes. Be yourself. You are special, and you should embrace that. It took me 21 years to finally get to that point. I’ve made the decision to stop reaching for something else, and just be content knowing that I can’t be put in a box. I fit in any of the above groups on any given day, but none of the titles accurately describe me. They can’t possibly accurately describe you either. So break out of that box and be the beautiful and extravagant creation you are.