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It’s a new year ladies and if you’ve been unlucky in love it’s time to get brand new.

Listen to the latest episode of the Put Yourself On Podcast, hosted by Bobby Pen, for a discussion on how sexual abuse can change you. In this show you’ll get advice on how to recognize red flags in an abuser, how to get out of an abusive relationship and ways to heal once you’re free.

This episode is called “How to Keep Your Pockets Wetter Than Your Ass,” thanks to the real life, girl talk nature of the show’s content.

Everyone has their own way of coping and the drastic approach to men after abuse from each of my guests make that fact quite apparent. New York Times best-selling author Mary “HoneyB” Morrison and Ashley W. Gillett, author of Red Flags, Run! discuss their different processes to writing books, publishing trade secrets and the Surviving: R. Kelly documentary which aired on Lifetime January 2019.

Ashley was molested at age 11 and continued to attract abusive men for almost two decades. The “Love Rehab Guru,” is five years into her healing journey and has decided to keep to herself for the most part. She has not been actively dating as Ashley feels women should take time to love themselves before they expect anyone to love them.

Meanwhile, HoneyB, who was molested at age 7 by her great grand father, has turned her sexual trauma into a protest. As a woman who had her first orgasm at age 16, HoneyB is a sexually liberated adult fiction author who freely discusses sex and even sells adult toys as a means to eradicate double standards.

HoneyB is passionate about women finding pleasure in every sexual encounter just like men. Which is why she’s on YouTube and WorldStar Hit Radio teaching women about the 22 different female orgasms, her most favorite being the 60 second climax.

See, through writing her book, Ashley realized that she tends to be a fixer so she had been seeking love and acceptance from men who needed her. HoneyB on the other hand believes women are too nice men and they all don’t deserve it. She believes women need to feel a man out before giving him anything, especially before giving up the cookie.

In her most recent novel, Head Games, HoneyB illustrates how she feels about men’s ability to care for women, (or not.) The main characters, four men, decide to see how many women they can “date, dick and dump” in 30 days. If that’s not bad enough, the men have to publicly humiliate the women they dump by doing so in public. She says readers will get to see how this behavior destroys lives. While Honeyb’s books are drawn from her imagination, she says the basis for the book is real experiences endured both personally and by friends.

You can watch our group chat at YouTube.com/thebobbypen

Ashley is currently working on her second book. Readers can expect a follow-up highlighting the trials of a girlfriend of her’s who has been dating a man for years who will not commit to her. All of her friends can tell that the man doesn’t love her, but won’t leave because he likes the way she loves him. A lot of women have found themselves in this position if they’d be honest with themselves. Ashley wants women to be vigilant while dating and not overlook those gut instincts.

Listen to the full podcast on SoundCloud in the player below or watch the 1-hour conversation in the video above.